engineer's life

You might be an engineer if . . .

. . . you have no life and can prove it
mathematically.

. . . you enjoy pain.

. . . you know vector calculus but you
can't remember how to do long division.

. . . you chuckle whenever anyone says
'centrifugal force'.

. . . you've actually ever used every
single function on your graphing calculator.

. . . when you look in the mirror, you
see an engineering major.

. . . it is sunny and 70 degrees
outside, and you are working on a computer.

. . . you frequently whistle the theme
song to 'MacGyver'.

. . . you always do homework on Friday
nights.

. . . you know how to integrate a
chicken and can take the derivative of
water.

. . . you think in 'math'.

. . . you've calculated that the World
Series actually diverges.

. . . you hesitate to look at something
because you don't want to break down its
wave function.

. . . you have a pet named after a
scientist.

. . . you laugh at jokes about
mathematicians.

. . . the Humane Society has had you
arrested because you actually performed
the Schroedinger's Cat Experiment.

. . . you can translate English into Binary.

. . . you can't remember what's behind
the door in the science building which
says "Exit".

. . . you have to bring a jacket with
you, in the middle of summer, because
there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

. . . you are completely addicted to
caffeine.

. . . you avoid doing anything because
you don't want to contribute to the
eventual heat-death of the universe.

. . . you consider any non-science
course 'easy'.

. . . when your professor asks you where
your homework is, you claim to have
accidentally determined its momentum so
precisely, that according to Heisenberg
it could be anywhere in the universe.

. . . the 'fun' center of your brain has
deteriorated from lack of use.

. . . you'll assume that a 'horse' is a
'sphere' in order to make the math easier.

. . . you understood more than five of
these indicators.

. . . you make a hard copy of this list
and post it on your office door.

. . . you know the glass is neither half
full nor half empty; it's simply twice
as big as it needs to be.